This is the best time of the year for any child. We are nearing the end of the school year. As most parents know, the end of the school year is an awesome time for children. The workload of reading multiple books during the week, math homework, perfecting times tables, and learning about how many states are in the United States has trickled down to a minimum.
As much as parents hate to admit it, we are grateful for the break, as well. We can relax on the rigid nightly schedule because we are in the countdown days of school. The end of the school year also brings little concerts, plays, and sporting days. You get to see your child run in a cross-country race, dance in a ballet performance, or sing a song she has been practicing for the entire school year.
This morning, my child awoke excited about her afternoon concert. “Mommy, it is going to be the performance of a lifetime! Just wait and see.”
We put on her summer dress, and fixed her hair in a ponytail. It was important to for the hair and dress to be perfect today.
On the way to school, she told me about the color of her bell (yellow), and explained the science of playing the bells with someone else. “It is hard, mommy, but I am brilliant at it.”
We pulled up the long driveway of her school. I reminded her that she does not remove her seat beat before we stop the car. I placed the car in park.
“Mommy! Hurry, hurry!” she urged. “I am going to be late.”
We walked, holding hands, to her classroom where the children were eagerly putting on their blazers to go to assembly. Madyson began to enter the classroom where she encountered Susie (name changed). The little girl walked right up to her and whispered:
“You are silly and stupid.”
My child’s smile disappeared. The happiness in her eyes vanished, and tears began to flow.
“What?” I said in disbelief.
Susie repeated herself. The teacher walked up. My child told her what had happened. She began to explain to Susie. “You don’t do that! We will talk about this after assembly.”
Everything inside me wanted to gather my child up and take her home. But this would be punishing her by forcing her to miss the assembly because of Susie’s actions.
MY CHILD HAD JUST BEEN BULLIED AND I AM A WITNESS!
I AM IN SHOCK.
My child has complained about Susie in the past. We had issues last year with little Susie being a bully. We talked to the teachers. We met with the Headmaster. They said they would keep an eye on this child. Susie is not left alone. I could not believe how skilled this six-year-old was at hiding her abuse from adults. She walked up with a smile on my face and bullied my child. She was not even the least bit concerned that I was standing right there!
I am now confronted with helping my child deal with a bully in first grade. Has your child ever been the victim of a bully?
What is bullying?
Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Bullying includes actions such as: making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and/or purposely excluding someone from a group.
Resource: Stopbullying.gov
Signs a Child is Being Bullied
Look for changes in your child. However, be aware that not all children who are bullied exhibit warning signs.
Some signs that may point to a bullying problem are:
- Unexplained injuries.
- Lost or destroyed clothing, books, electronics, or jewelry.
- Frequent headaches or stomach aches, feeling sick or pretending illness.
- Changes in eating habits, like suddenly skipping meals or binge eating. Kids may come home from school hungry because they did not eat lunch.
- Difficulty sleeping and/or frequent nightmares.
- Declining grades, loss of interest in schoolwork, or not wanting to go to school.
- Sudden loss of friends or avoidance of social situations.
- Feelings of helplessness or decreased self-esteem.
- Self-destructive behaviors such as running away from home, self-inflicted wounds, or talking about suicide.
What to Do?
Today was the first day that we realized the severity of what is happening to our child. After school today, I had a long discussion with my child regarding the incident. I discovered that she:
- Hates school.
- Is scared of Susie.
- Wants to learn at home.
- Has bad dreams about Susie.
- Feels like she has no friends.
- Gets hit by Susie who then says she is sorry.
- Wants to return to America because Americans are nice.
- Has invented pretend friends so they can protect her from Susie.
- Does not tell us because she likes math and she wants to go to math—if only Susie were not there to hurt her.
- Gets called “silly, stupid, and mean,” by Susie.
- Has been told by Susie that she “should live in a cage.”
As an adult, I know that this child probably has issues outside of school. But, as a parent, I have to protect my child from the evil that lurks in the person of Susie.
Now that I know the extent of the problem and have witnessed, firsthand, the behavior of this child, it is time to talk to the Headmaster again and come up with a plan to deal with the bullying.
If any of you are having similar problems, we would like to hear from you. Please share with us any solutions that you have found for bullying that involved your child or your family.
